One of my favorite pieces of relationship advice I've read is to not start a fight when there wasn't one to begin with, like you don't go up to your significant other and say “I was angry at you, but I'm not anymore!” That doesn't help anything, expect start the fight that had, up to that moment, been irrelevant by your own admission.
So yesterday, I'm doing my job, and a customer comes up and asks where an item is. I give him directions, and he gives me this look like he doesn't believe me, but he doesn't say anything and runs off. A minute later, he comes back while hold the item above his head like he found a mystical item in a role-playing game, and happily tells me he found it. No big deal, good for him for discovering tick spray in a store, whatever.
And then he tells me: “I take back all the back-talking I gave you!”
I blinked. “Uh, you weren't back-talking me, you just asked me a question.”
“Oh, no, I was back-talking you... just in my mind! You know, like how you commonly talk to a person and you think, 'I just killed your four times in my mind!'”
No, jackass, I don't think things like that, since I'm not a sociopath. But hey, you sort of got your wish, because now I'm just hoping that tick spray you bought completely fails, since I basically hate you now. Stay out of my store!
Thankfully, any rage I feel to my customers is quickly mitigating. This weekend, I'm going to go on my first legit vacation in over eight years! I'll be heading up to Canton, Ohio to visit the NFL Hall of Fame, and I'm going to be off the grid other than e-mail access. It'll be a nice break from everything else I'm doing, and I'll get to scratch one thing off my bucket list as I look back on NFL history, perhaps toward a time when the Steelers were actually consistently good.
WrestleMania 29 Thoughts
Twenty-four hours removed from WrestleMania 29, and I feel... weird. Like, I know it happened, and last night was a freaking blast with my tiny party. Also: I made Rick's famous and trademarked Orange Russians totally perfect last night for some reason that I put my finger on yet. So, it was socially fun... but the show? Meh.
The main reason I know it wasn't all that awesome as a show is due to what I've been saying around the water cooler, as it were. Or more accurately: what I've not been saying at the water cooler. I don't have any coworkers who are huge wrestling fans, but I have enough that they were aware of the larger matches. And yet when it came time to talk about it, I found myself continually saying “Yeah, Taker/Punk was fantastic!,” and nothing else. Sure, I reported the results, but nothing really stuck out in my mind. (Except for Fandango's Cavalcade of Prancing Ladies, because while I really don't care about ballroom dancing itself, I do enjoy seeing a dozen attractive brunettes hip-popping for my pleasure... albeit totally asynchronized.)
I thought we were off to a bad start in the pre-show when Snooki was there, Miz called her a “MILF,” and she smiled until he clarified it meant “Mom I'd Like to 'Friend.' ” This, somehow, disappointed her, implying that she was only interested in Miz as long as he wanted to bang her. The fact that she's famous and has made more from her writing than me cuts me deeper than a box cutter up my urethra. I almost regret writing that metaphor.
Anyway, the show was fun enough, but it didn't quite feel like WrestleMania. I wasn't quite hearing the sizzle as much as Rick was, but even so, the last hour just petered off. Trips/Brock only got interesting in the second half of the match, and Rock/Cena was never interesting to me, so this is like the third or fourth time in a row that they really should have put Taker's match on last, but... whatever. I'm bitching, and I don't want to bitch. It removes the fact that I had a good time last night, and that's the most important thing.
I'd also be remiss if I didn't give my report on OO's Undeclared Prediction Game, where Rick took the win. I got 6 out of 9 predictions right, with the 10th match being scrapped. 66.6% is a little better than I used to do back when we had a dozen writers around these parts. (I think my lifetime average was around 40-50%.) Rick managed 7.5 out of 9, with his only incorrect winner in the pre-show, and the fact that he was right on the point of Ryback/Mark Henry but didn't actually pick a winner (unless we're to infer he chose Ryback to win, which drops him down to 7 out of 9, still better than me). Clearly, my 8-for-9 year was an anomaly.
The main reason I know it wasn't all that awesome as a show is due to what I've been saying around the water cooler, as it were. Or more accurately: what I've not been saying at the water cooler. I don't have any coworkers who are huge wrestling fans, but I have enough that they were aware of the larger matches. And yet when it came time to talk about it, I found myself continually saying “Yeah, Taker/Punk was fantastic!,” and nothing else. Sure, I reported the results, but nothing really stuck out in my mind. (Except for Fandango's Cavalcade of Prancing Ladies, because while I really don't care about ballroom dancing itself, I do enjoy seeing a dozen attractive brunettes hip-popping for my pleasure... albeit totally asynchronized.)
I thought we were off to a bad start in the pre-show when Snooki was there, Miz called her a “MILF,” and she smiled until he clarified it meant “Mom I'd Like to 'Friend.' ” This, somehow, disappointed her, implying that she was only interested in Miz as long as he wanted to bang her. The fact that she's famous and has made more from her writing than me cuts me deeper than a box cutter up my urethra. I almost regret writing that metaphor.
Anyway, the show was fun enough, but it didn't quite feel like WrestleMania. I wasn't quite hearing the sizzle as much as Rick was, but even so, the last hour just petered off. Trips/Brock only got interesting in the second half of the match, and Rock/Cena was never interesting to me, so this is like the third or fourth time in a row that they really should have put Taker's match on last, but... whatever. I'm bitching, and I don't want to bitch. It removes the fact that I had a good time last night, and that's the most important thing.
I'd also be remiss if I didn't give my report on OO's Undeclared Prediction Game, where Rick took the win. I got 6 out of 9 predictions right, with the 10th match being scrapped. 66.6% is a little better than I used to do back when we had a dozen writers around these parts. (I think my lifetime average was around 40-50%.) Rick managed 7.5 out of 9, with his only incorrect winner in the pre-show, and the fact that he was right on the point of Ryback/Mark Henry but didn't actually pick a winner (unless we're to infer he chose Ryback to win, which drops him down to 7 out of 9, still better than me). Clearly, my 8-for-9 year was an anomaly.
Sounds of the Show
One reason I like sports videogames is for the music. I know that sounds weird, but I'm not exactly an audiophile, and I often enjoy the music that game developers choose for their sports games. (Well, if we ignore that disastrous year that Electronic Arts thought censored hardcore hip hop was appropriate for Tiger Woods PGA Tour.) Similarly, I never thought I'd enjoy a song from ZZ Top, but then MLB 13 The Show came out, and “I Gotsta Get Paid” was one of the menu songs.
I dislike ZZ Top usually. I've heard a lot of their songs, including their classics, but I'm not really a fan of their sound. Pretty much the only thing I know about them (other than their music) is the beards, which is a nice gimmick but not enough to offset their mediocre songs. And I honestly can't tell you why “I Gotsta Get Paid” appeals to me so much, especially given the especially annoying title and lyrics that I can't even remotely understand, but here we are. Maybe I just like dirty guitars?
I dislike ZZ Top usually. I've heard a lot of their songs, including their classics, but I'm not really a fan of their sound. Pretty much the only thing I know about them (other than their music) is the beards, which is a nice gimmick but not enough to offset their mediocre songs. And I honestly can't tell you why “I Gotsta Get Paid” appeals to me so much, especially given the especially annoying title and lyrics that I can't even remotely understand, but here we are. Maybe I just like dirty guitars?
Technodouche
While I try not to be a techno-douche, there are times when getting the shiniest and newest Thing is in my best interest. My old cell phone is a pile of crap, and my contract was coming up for Verizon, so they were offering me discount pricing. Most of the basic phones seemed even crappier, so after arguing with myself for a while, I decided to go ahead and upgrade to my first Smartphone.
Of course, I have no idea what I'm doing with it. I'm not really an app guy, so Angry Birds et al is staying the hell off my phone. But I did get the NFL app, so I can keep track of the Steelers next season while I'm supposed to be working on Sundays. (The better case scenario there is that I get a new day job by next football season and have my Sundays free so the app is pointless, but I know my luck: I'm stuck at Walmart for life.) I can tweet and Facebook and Myspace (which no one uses anymore) on the go if I want, but usually if I'm on the go, it means I don't want to be around that crap anyway.
So... I don't know. I like it, though, and it's waterproof. I want to text someone or make a tweet while taking a shower just to say I did. But otherwise, I'm quite happy just using my phone as, you know, a phone.
Of course, I have no idea what I'm doing with it. I'm not really an app guy, so Angry Birds et al is staying the hell off my phone. But I did get the NFL app, so I can keep track of the Steelers next season while I'm supposed to be working on Sundays. (The better case scenario there is that I get a new day job by next football season and have my Sundays free so the app is pointless, but I know my luck: I'm stuck at Walmart for life.) I can tweet and Facebook and Myspace (which no one uses anymore) on the go if I want, but usually if I'm on the go, it means I don't want to be around that crap anyway.
So... I don't know. I like it, though, and it's waterproof. I want to text someone or make a tweet while taking a shower just to say I did. But otherwise, I'm quite happy just using my phone as, you know, a phone.
More Netflix
I've been checking out random shows on Netflix, hoping to fill the void left with my conclusion of Prison Break. To use baseball vernacular, while I haven't struck out yet, I've been hitting nothing but routine singles to the outfield.
First I checked out House of Cards, that show that HBO (I think?) started production on then stopped. The series looked like it would be canceled before it started, but then Netflix itself produced it. So now it's called “A Netflix Original Production,” which is ironic, given that it's a spin-off of a British version with the same bloody title.
Anyway, Kevin Spacey plays a political asshole, in this case a redundant phrase, and he does so very well. We hate him, we're supposed to hate him, even though he's our protagonist. It's a good show, pretty intriguing, and didn't overstay its welcome, but I have trouble remembering what the hell is going on. Not because it's complex, but just the opposite: because it's rather forgettable. I'm not hooked per se, but I'll definitely check out the second season if and when it's released. Sort of like Walter in Breaking Bad, I'm sort of watching in the hope that he'll get caught and suffer mightily. (Though, of course, Breaking Bad is objectively better as a whole.) It does make me want to watch the British version though, since that one tells the whole story in only 12 episodes, as British TV normally does.
The other show I checked out is Mad Men, which I heard all sorts of good things about, but... this one has hooked me even less than House of Cards. I have trouble buying that men were that sexist in the 60s (there's a scene where our “hero” forces a woman to apologize to a third party essentially by fingering her in a restaurant, just to show off his power). Is it just exaggeration, or were women really mistreated that badly? I'm way too young to know, and other than hearing horror stories, I don't really know anything about typical office life.
Mad Men has some intriguing characterization, but it just hasn't grabbed me. I'm sticking with it for now, but might switch to House of Cards (BBC) sooner rather than later.
First I checked out House of Cards, that show that HBO (I think?) started production on then stopped. The series looked like it would be canceled before it started, but then Netflix itself produced it. So now it's called “A Netflix Original Production,” which is ironic, given that it's a spin-off of a British version with the same bloody title.
Anyway, Kevin Spacey plays a political asshole, in this case a redundant phrase, and he does so very well. We hate him, we're supposed to hate him, even though he's our protagonist. It's a good show, pretty intriguing, and didn't overstay its welcome, but I have trouble remembering what the hell is going on. Not because it's complex, but just the opposite: because it's rather forgettable. I'm not hooked per se, but I'll definitely check out the second season if and when it's released. Sort of like Walter in Breaking Bad, I'm sort of watching in the hope that he'll get caught and suffer mightily. (Though, of course, Breaking Bad is objectively better as a whole.) It does make me want to watch the British version though, since that one tells the whole story in only 12 episodes, as British TV normally does.
The other show I checked out is Mad Men, which I heard all sorts of good things about, but... this one has hooked me even less than House of Cards. I have trouble buying that men were that sexist in the 60s (there's a scene where our “hero” forces a woman to apologize to a third party essentially by fingering her in a restaurant, just to show off his power). Is it just exaggeration, or were women really mistreated that badly? I'm way too young to know, and other than hearing horror stories, I don't really know anything about typical office life.
Mad Men has some intriguing characterization, but it just hasn't grabbed me. I'm sticking with it for now, but might switch to House of Cards (BBC) sooner rather than later.
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